Central Scotland Police

Fact or Fiction

Fiction

Victims are to blame for the violence. They provoke the abuser.

Fact

Abusers make the choice to hurt. They do not go crazy or lose control, but choose who to hurt, where to hurt and how to hurt to accomplish their ends.

Fiction

Domestic abuse is usually a one-time event, an isolated incident.

Fact

Abuse against a partner is an ongoing pattern of behaviour. Without early and effective intervention it may get worse and more frequent over a period of time.

Fiction

Once an abuser always an abuser.

Fact

Abusive behaviour is a learned behaviour that can be unlearned. Behavioural changes often require intervention and it is unlikely an abuser will change by sheer willpower.

Fiction

Domestic abuse is about couples getting into an argument on a Saturday night, beating each other up and totally disrupting the neighbourhood.

Fact

Domestic abuse is not mutual combat. It is about one person dominating and controlling the other.

Fiction

Domestic abuse incidents are few and far between.

Fact

On average Central Scotland Police receive 300 calls of domestic violence incidents every month. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Much research has been conducted over the years that shows that on average a victim will have been subject to 35 incidents before they seek formal help.

Fiction

It can't be that bad or they would leave.

Fact

Many people stay in abusive relationships for a range of reasons ranging from love to terror. There are also practical reasons why victims don't leave. They may be afraid of further assaults if they seek help. They may be worried about supporting themselves and their children. They may be worried about losing their homes, their possessions or their children. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is all right or that the victim wants to be abused. Leaving can be dangerous. Much research shows that one of the most dangerous times for a victim is when they try to leave.

Fiction

Men are not victims of domestic abuse.

Fact

Domestic abuse affects all sections of the community and is not a problem exclusively associated with one social, sexual or ethnic group. Domestic violence must be seen as the systematic abuse within a relationship by the partner who holds the balance of power. This will not necessarily correlate to physical size and strength or gender.

Fiction

Domestic abuse is caused by alcohol and/or drugs.

Fact

Alcohol may go along with the violence, but it does not cause it. Abusers often blame the alcohol or drugs for their violence but domestic violence happens when an abuser has learned and chosen to abuse.

Fiction

Domestic abuse only happens to poor people.

Fact

Domestic abuse happens to all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence.